The Floating Diego
Inspired by Alex Ferguson's early season string of late game substitutions of Diego Forlan, the man with by far the best skin in football,* my mate Neil and I propose that the Premiership adopt a rule known as the Floating Diego.
Under Floating Diego rules, any team in the Premiership can use Diego Forlan, but only as a substitute. Let's say Man U is playing Arsenal. Diego doesn't belong to either team; he's floating. So if Dennis Bergkamp is struggling and Thierry needs some support, Arsenal can opt to "Float the Diego", bringing the Uruguayan wonderboy onto their side. The drawback, of course, is that the more Diego plays, the more likely he is to end up wandering around the field like a blind dog with only one good leg. So if Arsenal bring him on to early, they'll effectively be playing with ten men toward the end of the game. (Floating Diego may not be substituted for.) But if they wait too late, then Man U can bring Floating Diego in, and if Ferguson times it just right - eg 15-18 minutes of Diego - than he really might get something good out of him.
It will be a battle of wits, with each coach weighing the pros and cons of having Diego on the pitch, either for you or against you.
In the first season of Floating Diego, he will only be available to Man U and the team they're playing against. But once his contract expires, the Premiership should purchase Diego for general use. This would add the fascinating element of having all 20 clubs matching wits to see who will or will not use Floating Diego each weekend. And there would be more than one team, of course. I envision a Floating Diego jet (bring the Concorde back, perhaps?) that could fly him from one finished game to one that's just started.
*Neil argues that Chris Coleman is second, but I have my doubts. Besides, on order of magnitude, comparing anyone's skin to Diego's is like comparing, um, not apples and oranges, but candles and the sun. His skin's just that perfect.
